Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
