I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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