the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize