If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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