i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
this is an emotional support booty call
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I lost the right to judge tonight
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
