I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
