I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
