what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
