i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
