Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
