i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
