I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize