Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
