Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
