Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
