she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
