Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
