I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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