i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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