just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
