Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
