I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
