But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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