Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
