You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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