She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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