We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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