dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
