Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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