The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
