so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize