That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
