Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
