Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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