thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
