just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
