your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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