Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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