I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
