He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
