Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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