We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
