Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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