I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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