omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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