apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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