he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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