The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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