I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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