so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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