How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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