Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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