Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Screwed.edu
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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