What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize