u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
