Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
