I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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