So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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