cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
