Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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