Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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