Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
